So...... yesterday had my first "leak-free" day in honestly, I can't remember how long! Not spotting either! Oh, praise the lord, someone IS listening!!! Obviously not out of the woods yet, but it's nice to have a day where my head isn't spinning with worry! Haven't leaked MUCH today either, so I'm hoping like mad it's slowing up a bit.
DP is getting the flu and feeling miserable so heading home shortly to make him a nice dinner and run him a hot bath. Wouldn't normally do that kind of thing (running him a bath of course, I do cook tea!!), but it's seriously been pouring here all day, and about 6 degrees and he's working outside all day so I'm thinking he might want to thaw out!!! Poor bugger!
Well, that's all for today! See you soon!!
Gym bubba is finally here!!
Lilypie First Birthday tickers
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Another OB visit....
Good arvo!!
I'm at home today cause I had more gushing of fluid loss so I rang the clinic and my OB said to come straight down. Had a heap of tests, including one that took a sample of the fluid again that I'm leaking and (the test actually looked like an OPK dip stick thingy!) it checks to see if it's amniotic fluid or other fluid I'm leaking. Anyway, the good news is that it's not amniotic fluid but it is coming from me, and not the baby. I had a scan and my cervix is still about 3.5 - 3.6 cm long and it's closed nicely still.
Also, bub was flipping around and going well completely unaware of what was going on in the outside world! What a relief, I can't explain it! Plus it's been quiet the last couple of days and I hadn't felt it so that just added to my anxiety levels!
They did blood tests and swabs to check for infection of any illnesses but the swabs the last few times have been completely clear of anything so he doesn't think there's any kind of infection. The abruption of my placenta hasn't gotten any worse and that' what he was most concerned about so probably all in all, that was the most relief I've had in a week! Again he said that it was likely I would continue to 'leak' for the duration of my pregnancy and whilst he didn't tell me not to worry - cause he can't guarantee that there isn't reason to - he told me what to look out for so that I can sleep at night!!! I look like a hundred year old hag from laying awake worrying!!
My goodness..... what a worrysome time!!! Nearly 19 weeks so about 5 weeks to go until the safe zone! Cmon goddamnit!!! I want to breathe again!!! lol!!!
How many china men did I run over in a past life for all this worry?!?!?!
I wanted to add...... last night I laid in bed and cried and cried and I mean HOWLED like a baby until about 11:30pm! Poor DP didn't know what to do and I tried to explain to him that I was just feeling like I'd done something wrong in a past life and I was over tired and feeling upset and helpless!!! He was wonderful and just cuddled me until I eventually cried myself to sleep. I always do my best to stay upbeat and positive, but some days it really does seem like the world is against me having a baby!! I'm better today after I let it all out, and I feel positive that I can do this. I can last another 5 weeks. I will give my life for this baby, I love it so much.
A massive thanks to all those who have thought of me and bubs in their messages and blogs. It really does mean the world to me. You gals are all awesome! xxx
I'm at home today cause I had more gushing of fluid loss so I rang the clinic and my OB said to come straight down. Had a heap of tests, including one that took a sample of the fluid again that I'm leaking and (the test actually looked like an OPK dip stick thingy!) it checks to see if it's amniotic fluid or other fluid I'm leaking. Anyway, the good news is that it's not amniotic fluid but it is coming from me, and not the baby. I had a scan and my cervix is still about 3.5 - 3.6 cm long and it's closed nicely still.
Also, bub was flipping around and going well completely unaware of what was going on in the outside world! What a relief, I can't explain it! Plus it's been quiet the last couple of days and I hadn't felt it so that just added to my anxiety levels!
They did blood tests and swabs to check for infection of any illnesses but the swabs the last few times have been completely clear of anything so he doesn't think there's any kind of infection. The abruption of my placenta hasn't gotten any worse and that' what he was most concerned about so probably all in all, that was the most relief I've had in a week! Again he said that it was likely I would continue to 'leak' for the duration of my pregnancy and whilst he didn't tell me not to worry - cause he can't guarantee that there isn't reason to - he told me what to look out for so that I can sleep at night!!! I look like a hundred year old hag from laying awake worrying!!
My goodness..... what a worrysome time!!! Nearly 19 weeks so about 5 weeks to go until the safe zone! Cmon goddamnit!!! I want to breathe again!!! lol!!!
How many china men did I run over in a past life for all this worry?!?!?!
I wanted to add...... last night I laid in bed and cried and cried and I mean HOWLED like a baby until about 11:30pm! Poor DP didn't know what to do and I tried to explain to him that I was just feeling like I'd done something wrong in a past life and I was over tired and feeling upset and helpless!!! He was wonderful and just cuddled me until I eventually cried myself to sleep. I always do my best to stay upbeat and positive, but some days it really does seem like the world is against me having a baby!! I'm better today after I let it all out, and I feel positive that I can do this. I can last another 5 weeks. I will give my life for this baby, I love it so much.
A massive thanks to all those who have thought of me and bubs in their messages and blogs. It really does mean the world to me. You gals are all awesome! xxx
Friday, June 25, 2010
Yes, still leaking!!
I am now singing "6 months in a leaky boat" by Split Enz in my mind!!! I guess that's what I feel like at the moment! This morning got out of the shower and was at the mirror toning my face and geetting ready for work again, when I felt a gush. I look down to see probably the equivalent of about 3 tablespoons of liquid running down the inside of my thigh and onto the floor mat. I panic but not as much cause now it's happening pretty much every day. Now it just does my head in and I wonder to myself if I should be doing more about it but the OB knows and he said not to worry too much about it just yet and to worry more if it's a constant stream, or if there's red blood. How can I NOT worry about it?? I rang him today just to talk about it and he confirmed I had a grade 1 placental abruption, so certainly not cause for extreme alarm or anything, but the close monitoring will apparently continue for entire length of the pregnancy now, not just until 24 weeks. That's a good and a bad thing..... of course I'm super grateful for all of the expert care I'm getting. Not for one second would I want it any other way, but the alarm bells ring in the back of my mind and think that I probably won't really get much of a chance at all to really enjoy this pregnancy. I will probably spend every waking moment worrying about whether or not my baby is ok, is it distressed, will it affect it long term?? But again, I will do my best to stay positive! I am booked in now for my 20 week scan on the 5th of July. Bring on about 28 weeks!! PLEASE!!!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
More for the girls!
This post is just about the girls who have departed SWB (for now!).....
Summa, I have been tracking your blog and seriously, without trying to sound over the top optimistic, your symptoms to date are looking awesome!!! I can't wait to see more updates on how you are tracking and if there have been any new developments!!! I seriously do have everything crossed for you!
Shel, I am very proud of you for taking a new level of control in your life in regards to TTC. It's a freakin tough decision and it's one that seems to have been adopted also by GS. It is never easy to make that kind of decision, but I really take my hat off to you! I still think doing that myself was the best thing I ever did in hindsight..... I hope you have the same outcome!! : )
Green Sprout, well..... what can I say?? You know how I feel about your situation! You've just gone through a big deal in regards to your lap and I know they couldn't give you any answers as such, but I guess if you look at it from the perspective that you can work backwards through the process of elimination...... you've at least been able to strike some possible issues off your list. I know it still leaves a big black hole on that list, but I'm so proud of you for deciding to stay positive and tackle this head on! And you've got us all supporting you so please don't throw in the towel! Not yet!!!
Nani.....you're really struggling (as you all are I know) and I hope and pray that you and your DH can work through this together. Try looking at all the options you still have in front of you and the great support that you have and don't forget the fact that you really can conceive. Some people don't even have that to hang onto. I'm not taking anything away from how you're feeling, I just want you to hang onto something like that for hope and inspiration. It's a very positive outlook you have if they can help you O and don't lose sight of what you know you can achieve! You WILL get there!!!
Well, I just wanted to post this to you all to say hello and that I'm still holding out hope for you all!! Take care and see you around! : )
Summa, I have been tracking your blog and seriously, without trying to sound over the top optimistic, your symptoms to date are looking awesome!!! I can't wait to see more updates on how you are tracking and if there have been any new developments!!! I seriously do have everything crossed for you!
Shel, I am very proud of you for taking a new level of control in your life in regards to TTC. It's a freakin tough decision and it's one that seems to have been adopted also by GS. It is never easy to make that kind of decision, but I really take my hat off to you! I still think doing that myself was the best thing I ever did in hindsight..... I hope you have the same outcome!! : )
Green Sprout, well..... what can I say?? You know how I feel about your situation! You've just gone through a big deal in regards to your lap and I know they couldn't give you any answers as such, but I guess if you look at it from the perspective that you can work backwards through the process of elimination...... you've at least been able to strike some possible issues off your list. I know it still leaves a big black hole on that list, but I'm so proud of you for deciding to stay positive and tackle this head on! And you've got us all supporting you so please don't throw in the towel! Not yet!!!
Nani.....you're really struggling (as you all are I know) and I hope and pray that you and your DH can work through this together. Try looking at all the options you still have in front of you and the great support that you have and don't forget the fact that you really can conceive. Some people don't even have that to hang onto. I'm not taking anything away from how you're feeling, I just want you to hang onto something like that for hope and inspiration. It's a very positive outlook you have if they can help you O and don't lose sight of what you know you can achieve! You WILL get there!!!
Well, I just wanted to post this to you all to say hello and that I'm still holding out hope for you all!! Take care and see you around! : )
Same old, same old..... which is good! Oh and 18w today!
Still hanging in there! Still spotting and leaking a fair amount of fluid from god knows where but Bub is hanging in there!
Was sitting on the couch last night and it was going ballistic in my tummy which was such a lovely feeling. I can't wait to feel it more regularly and stronger, it's the best reassurance that it's going ok in there!!
Not much else to report at this stage so won't waffle for once, but so far so good.
Have my next OB appointment on Tuesday so only 4 days until I know what (if any) course of action will be taken next. I guess it depends on how the placenta is holding up and how bub is going.
I'm staying strong though, it WILL all be fine!! Better than fine, it will be wonderful!!! :)
Was sitting on the couch last night and it was going ballistic in my tummy which was such a lovely feeling. I can't wait to feel it more regularly and stronger, it's the best reassurance that it's going ok in there!!
Not much else to report at this stage so won't waffle for once, but so far so good.
Have my next OB appointment on Tuesday so only 4 days until I know what (if any) course of action will be taken next. I guess it depends on how the placenta is holding up and how bub is going.
I'm staying strong though, it WILL all be fine!! Better than fine, it will be wonderful!!! :)
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Positive thoughts.....
Ok, so no worrying, no wallowing in self pity or wondering why things aren't going quite the way I'd hoped..... I KNEW this would be a touchy pregnancy. I had been told my whole life since having the twins that carrying a baby for me would be a little bit dicey. But what I need to remember is that I'm getting the best of care, I'm doing everything the doctors orders..... I can get through this. I ask all the questions, and listen to what the OB says now. When I was 19 and had the twins, and things started going wrong (like leaking fluid etc) I put my head in the sand cause I was a kid bascially and didn't ask questions. I didn't say, "hmmm, excuse me? But can you please tell me why I have this fluid leaking from me??" but now I'm smarter, wiser and more aware of my body. I WILL get through this. I WILL have a gorgeous little bub at the end of all this, and I WILL enjoy this pregnancy as much as humanly possible. Dwelling on the negatives never got me anywhere - that's why I always try my best to be positive. Sometimes its soooo draining, but it gets me through in the end. It always works so why change that method?? Why let myself slip quietly into a void of worry, depression and angst for something I can't do anything about?? It's just a waiting game now and I don't want to inflict all those negative vibes and hormones on bub while it's inside me!!! lol!!!
Cmon Bub, stick with me and let's enjoy the ride!!! I love you to bits and will do everything I can for you xxx
Cmon Bub, stick with me and let's enjoy the ride!!! I love you to bits and will do everything I can for you xxx
Monday, June 21, 2010
Crappy day, crappy news....
Well, had another OB appointment this morning. Got to see a senior doc this time and that was great, especially after such a shit week last week.
Did a scan and bub is great with it's little heart still fluttering away and doing somersaults inside me! All that was great, but then he spotted what he said looks to be a minor detachment of the placenta from the uterus. Well, this is of course not what I want to hear. He checks the cervix which is still nicely closed and still 3.5cm or so long. And THEN when he was taking a swab, there was a gush of bleeding and fluid which he says shouldn't be happening. He seems to think there is blood being forced from this detachment in the placenta or something?? Anyway, the low lying placenta isn't a worry too much at this stage but hopefully it moves up and out of the way of the cervix as the uterus grows. But if the placenta keeps coming away from the uterus it will lead to preterm labour. So I'm on to weekly visits now with the OB and Dr F says that I now also am only to see senior specialists and no junior ones to ensure nothing is missed. So essentially my cervix is ok which is great, but I need to do lots of resting and taking it easy to ensure my poor placenta holds up and lasts the distance..... anyway, don't feel like writing more at the moment. Feeling pretty f&cking flat to be honest....
Did a scan and bub is great with it's little heart still fluttering away and doing somersaults inside me! All that was great, but then he spotted what he said looks to be a minor detachment of the placenta from the uterus. Well, this is of course not what I want to hear. He checks the cervix which is still nicely closed and still 3.5cm or so long. And THEN when he was taking a swab, there was a gush of bleeding and fluid which he says shouldn't be happening. He seems to think there is blood being forced from this detachment in the placenta or something?? Anyway, the low lying placenta isn't a worry too much at this stage but hopefully it moves up and out of the way of the cervix as the uterus grows. But if the placenta keeps coming away from the uterus it will lead to preterm labour. So I'm on to weekly visits now with the OB and Dr F says that I now also am only to see senior specialists and no junior ones to ensure nothing is missed. So essentially my cervix is ok which is great, but I need to do lots of resting and taking it easy to ensure my poor placenta holds up and lasts the distance..... anyway, don't feel like writing more at the moment. Feeling pretty f&cking flat to be honest....
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