23w4d

Well, today is the day in the twin pregnancy that I went into labour. Can't believe it was at this point in my pregnancy that everything turned so pear shaped. Whilst I'm still afraid of jinxing myself (am sure it won't happen though!!) I will say, that this pregnancy now seems a whole different experience. Can't even really describe the differences, maybe it's just that I'm older and been through more..... but things just now feel......right. Maybe I'm just letting myself finally believe that this is happening? A part of me feels like I am letting my guard down when I type this and that makes me feel vulnerable for some reason, but at the same time absolutely elated. Someone pinch me.....

On a sad note, DP's cousin passed away yesterday. He was only 38 and he had a massive heart attack whilst riding a horse on Saturday arvo. He was at a comp in Werribee and they took him to Footscray hospital where he was operated on quite late on Saturday night and ballooned his arteries etc but they declared him dead yesterday morning. Apparently at the time of the heart attack he had a very long period of time where he wasn't breathing and no oxygen got to his brain and there was no sign at all of brain activity when they tested about 5am yesterday. He was an organ donor and they "harvested" (such an awful term) his organs for donation mid yesterday morning. DP is quite shocked, as is the rest of the family. He was quite a fit guy, playing football and wasn't a smoker or anything like that. Enjoyed a social drink but no more than the next bloke. Dp and his cousin were the only two boys in his family and now DP feels a little lost I think without him. I'm not one to panic or anything but I have made DP he will go soon and have his heart checked. DP'd dad and uncle have both had heart attacks, and DP's grandfather had 2 - the second one ended his life, and his grandfathers' 3 brothers also died from heart attacks (2 of them in their 30's) which I only just found most of this out on Saturday night. I'm sure DP will be fine, but I'd rather get him checked over just to give me piece of mind. It's clearly hereditary! Let' just hope he has his Mum's heart! DP is now the only male on his dad's side of the family that hasn't had a heart attack and I'd like to keep it that way!!!

DP felt bub going off it's nut last night in my tummy. I climbed into bed and told DP to put his hand on my tummy and just as he did it was kicking and rolling about like mad (must have been getting comfy for bed!!) and he felt it heaps. He couldn't believe how much it moved as that's the most he's felt it, and he asked how anyone could possibly sleep with that going on inside them!! It's not THAT bad justyet, but everyone says when you get to later in the pregnancy it can be ahrd getting to sleep when bub is playing jungle gym inside you!!

Bought some cute baby clothes over the weekend. It's very hard though, being the only person who knows what I'm having. Still haven't told DP that I accidentally was told by the OB what we're having but it's actually not been so hard keeping it to myself. The thing I find funny is when people keep telling me what they think I'm having. My future mother in law is adamant that she knows what I'm having and she's actually wrong so I get a little giggle to myself when she goes on about it!! But it's meant I can buy a few little special things that I have found that are specific to the sex of the bub.... I just have to hide them RIGHT at the very top of the built in robe cause no one would ever look up there! On the weekend I bought some little one piece outfits from Paul Frank which are so cute but a little bit cool, and also some bits and pieces of Ralph Lauren (which are just for special occasions!) including a little pair of pre-walker shoes and they are soooo adorable. I think I'm getting used to this being relaxed and enjoying it thing...... : D